On a wall in the lobby of the Guilford, CT Town Hall building, two photographs of deceased American soldiers are displayed in black frames. In one of them, pictured against the rugged snow-covered mountains of Afghanistan, is U.S. Army Special Forces Captain Andrew Pedersen-Keel, 28, of Madison, CT. There is a youthful exuberance in his demeanor. Standing in the bright sunshine in fatigues and wearing dark sunglasses, his equipment slung over his shoulder and smiling broadly for the camera, Andrew is handsome, physically fit and self-confident. In every way, he projects the image of a leader and the quintessential modern-day warrior. Andrew Pedersen-Keel was killed in action in Wardak Province on March 11, 2013.

The other frame displays a formal close-up portrait of 37-year-old Staff Sergeant Richard S. Eaton, Jr., U.S. Army Reserve, of Guilford, CT. Attired in his military dress uniform, there is an air of maturity and experience about Richard. His attractive and intelligent face appears alert; his eyes look straight at the camera with seriousness. One wonders what he is thinking. Richard Eaton died in Ramadi, Iraq on August 12, 2003.

Who were these young men? What do we know about them or the thousands of other service men and women who have sacrificed their lives for the cause of our freedom? We owe it to them to seek the answers to these questions as the nation prepares to commemorate yet another Memorial Day on May 26, 2025. Its unique purpose is to be a solemn day of public reflection and remembrance of the members of America’s Armed Forces killed in service to our nation. Memorial Day also pays honor and respect to the families left behind who mourn them.

Its roots lie in aftermath of the Civil War and the tradition of decorating the graves of the fallen with flowers and American flags in May. Today the holiday honors all of America’s war dead, including World War I, World War II, The Vietnam War, The Korean War and the more recent conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. An act of Congress in 1968, effective in 1971, established Memorial Day as an official federal holiday to be observed on the last Monday of May.

Wreaths, flowers and American flags are still placed by visitors on thousands of graves in military cemeteries throughout the United States today, and parades and heartfelt speeches prevail at events in towns across the country. But the increasing commercialization of Memorial Day is creeping into American culture and trivializing its profound meaning. The aggressive promotion of special retail sales for everything from mattresses, home electronics, and furniture, to cars and clothing, is one sign of this unfortunate trend.

Gold Star Mothers, Fathers and Families, touched by their private tragedy of losing an immediate family member on active-duty military service, seek only reassurance from the rest of us that we haven’t forgotten their loved one. They derive comfort in knowing that we recognize their loss and acknowledge the sacrifice their service member made on our behalf.

By taking the time to discover who these family members are in our communities, learning about their loved ones and hearing their stories, we can best show our respect and honor the memory of those they have lost. A chance meeting with two mothers at an American Legion meeting in Guilford several years ago allowed me to do just that and left an indelible impression on me.

Two women dressed in white sitting next to me in the audience introduced themselves as Gold Star Mothers. They were Helen Keiser-Pedersen, Andrew’s mother, and Sharon Eaton, Richard’s mother. After the meeting, we talked about their sons and the tragic circumstances of their deaths.

Several days later I contacted Helen. She graciously invited me to her home to learn more about Andrew and the APK Charity named in his honor which she and her husband, Bob, established after Andrew’s death. As we sat around the kitchen table and talked, all the signs of Andrew’s special qualities became immediately evident. He was Helen’s only son and the ‘apple of her eye’; a towheaded, fun-loving, good-natured little boy growing up in Florida, participating in Scouts and sports and resourcefully running a newspaper route. After Helen’s divorce, relocation to Connecticut, and remarriage to Bob, the family rejoiced when Andrew graduated from Avon Farms School in 2002. By then he was “PK”, an affectionate nickname which became his official moniker for the rest of his life. A memorial article on the school’s website states that Andrew was universally trusted, respected and admired for his leadership qualities, academic achievements, and for his “enthusiasm, energy, loyalty and high moral standards”.

These same attributes served him well during his four years at West Point and throughout his impressive military career after his graduation from the Academy in 2006. Numerous specialized training schools and qualifications followed, as well as a 12-month deployment to Kandahar Province in Afghanistan in 2008 as an Army Ranger. He was pinned by General David Petraeus while downrange and was now Captain Andrew Pedersen-Keel. By June, 2012 he was proudly wearing his Green Beret and assigned to 1st Battalion, 3rd SFG (A). Andrew deployed back to Afghanistan that September as an ODA Commander and by March of 2013, he was team leader of ODA 3126.

Tragedy stuck suddenly on March 11, 2013 in the form of a “Green on Blue” attack outside a local police station in the Jalrez District of Wardak Province. The APK website states that: “Captain Andrew Michael Pedersen-Keel was conducting a patrol briefing when a 20-year-old Afghan jumped into the back of an Afghan police pickup truck, grabbed the machine gun mounted on the truck bed, and mowed down the Special Forces team. Andrew was mortally wounded. Also killed was Staff Sgt. Rex Schad, 26, of Oklahoma and the team’s Military working dog, BAK. Our troops were betrayed by a purported brother-in-arms, an Afghan National Policeman”. Several other team members were gravely wounded, but they recovered.

The next day Andrew’s body arrived in a flag-draped coffin at Dover Air Force Base, Delaware in a dignified transfer ceremony. Helen, Bob, family members and friends were waiting for him. The little boy who wanted to be a soldier and reveled in being one, the man who designed and built his own house in Southern Pines, N.C. to live in with his fiancé, who relished life and fun, the lover of books, music and poetry, the light in the lives of his family and friends, the leader of men, was now dead. Andrew Pedersen-Keel was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery on March 27th, 2013 with full military honors.

But his spirit fills Helen’s and Bob’s home. A sunny addition off the kitchen is filled with mementoes and reminders of Andrew. One almost expects him to walk into the room. From a large graduation portrait of him as a West Point ‘Firstie’ high up on one wall Andrew smiles down on them. Helen shows me her lovingly kept scrapbooks documenting every aspect of her son’s life from childhood to condolence cards and letters. His Green Beret sits on a shelf in his bedroom.

Later, in the darkened living room, Bob, Helen and I sit and watch the private video of Andrew’s ramp ceremony before his remains were flown back to the United States. I am unprepared for what I’m about to see. Not a word is said. It’s evening and long dark shadows fall over the tarmac at Bagram; several transport trucks slowly pull up with their back gates open revealing two flag draped metal caskets; the troops stand at attention in neat rows and render a slow salute. Minutes go by that seem like hours. I begin to feel my chest tighten up as if I can’t breathe. It is one of the most emotionally devastating experiences of my life. Later, in the cargo bay of the transport plane, Rex Schad’s and Andrew’s coffins are secured down for their final trip. Prayers are said. Each of their military comrades in arms carefully places a challenge coin on the top. Again, there are the measured and precise final salutes. Their friends exit the plane and the cargo bay door closes.

Two patriots and warriors are going home.

Part 2 to be posted tomorrow.